Kathleen A. Bogle (not this writer) is a PhD in Sociology from the University of Delaware and a college professor in Sociology and Criminal Science. She has studied extensively the culture of college students' campus relationships. Hooking-up, hanging-out, and dating - all things relationship is her focus. She is open minded in her research but does not shy from drawing conclusions that extend beyond summaries. I begin with her because she has succeeded in nailing down the answer to the question: "What's up with campus relationships?" Her 2008 book, available on Amazon Kindle, is a really smart, must read: Hooking Up…Sex, Dating and Relationships on Campus. Get it, read it and begin to understand the campus social culture. Gift your gut with a social GPS...or don't - but at your emotional peril.
If you are wondering, mystified, frightened, confused, bewildered...puzzled and perplexed as to where and how you might fit in with the others in your dorm, apartment, sorority/fraternity, or what’s the norm on campus; how to act and react; to be a player and not be played... lucky you ... you've happened on a place of possibility thinking. Choices are a beautiful thing if your brain could only know its options. Given the endless stream of students you will encounter on campus, there comes a daunting array of possibilities as to how to behave with each, present yourself and react to them. Some are only for the moment; some others, perhaps, for a lifetime. How to know? What to do?
These writings will uncover and reveal what is of value to you and them. The rest of all of it - except for the academic - is window dressing, smoke and mirrors, mirage, distraction, fun, amusement, clowning...drama. Relationships are the real stuff of campus life. They can enrich your time at college, further your goals, build your confidence, help you discover the path to your highest and best use, keep you on track, provide a sounding board and a way to serve others and, our focus, enjoy a serious college romantic relationship.
Romance takes a relationship on campus to the next level, the main stage. The heart becomes the lead actor. The brain steps back and attempts to assist the heart in its role. Attempts is the operative word in that sentence. When the heart discovers someone that it wants, it assigns the task of getting that person to the brain. It wants what it wants; and it wants it now! Like a speeding train, a campus relationship can move rapidly and powerfully. Overnight you can be in a new place - then another, and another. OMG. The thrill, the ecstasy, and the heart pounding exhilaration of your feelings will capture and bind you to your heart's target. And that's the plan. It was always the plan; and it was embedded in your DNA before you were born. You are not just imagining how you feel. You are feeling how you are. Extremely powerful opioids in your body have burst forth, affected your chemistry, and are causing you to feel this way. All is good; this is the all natural plan - unless... your heart has chosen wrongly. Possible train wreck ahead.
The next worst feeling to the romance lost is the one you can’t find. - or hasn't found you. There’s no shortage of students on campus, no shortage of parties, games, events and classes to meet someone; no shortage of hooking up and hanging out, but sadly, no romance? What’s up with that? Welcome to CampusBliss.com where you will learn how, where, when and why to create and act as your own campus relationship guardian angel. Here you will learn what you need to know if romance is more important – a lot more important to you, than just hooking up and hanging out, semester after semester – which, by the way, hundreds of thousands of American college students are good with. If romance is not your goal but improving the quality and/or duration of any campus relationship is, then the good news is that many of the same strategies and techniques work on finding and growing great friendships too – so you'll be prepared to take it to whatever level fits your comfort zone, when you’re ready.