Because a state of bliss on campus is my goal for you. Okay, off campus as well, but the need I suspect, is more generally on than off as the peer pressures generated by life living on campus are much greater than for the commuters. I've done both. Roommates, dorms, apartments, rental housing, greek club houses all add a constant social element of expected behavior. One feels watched, measured, compared to an unwritten metric; then judged by one's peers and those more senior in the pecking order of the place(s). You will spend unbelievable amounts of time talking to others to learn the rules, the codes: what's expected, acceptable; and, what's not okay, frowned on, very not cool, punishable, and worst of all: what will get you shunned and ostracized. Persona non grata is a label to be avoided. Oh, but wait - there's more.
Obviously I am directing my opening remarks to those feeling most unbalanced and dizzy: the newbies and the freshman. You are coming fresh from high school, transferring from another college or just out of the military; or you decided to leave the security of your room to your little sister to gain some privacy and avoid the morning parental interrogations as to where you were last night; and explanations as to where you are spending the entire weekend away. Okay, I get it. Been there, done that.
Anxiety is baggage you really want to minimize as you seek to navigate the academic requirements with a clear head and a steady pulse. But, guess what - as already stated - campus life has its own stressors. Welcome to Peer Pressure 102 with pop quizzes hourly. You're in the big league now: college. "You just did a two and half gainer from the low diving board into the deep end of the pool: from the fire into the frying pan." one prof used to tell us while handing back papers.
The reason I begin with social anxiety is because it needn't be as big a deal as your brain will attempt to make it. Academic anxiety yes - social, not so much.Your default setting is to err on the side of caution. I get that. I will attempt to persuade you that a lot of what you hear is not exactly so. A lot of what is said is an exaggeration of the facts and too often just made up. Let's take the example of what happened last night between you and "what's his name" after you guys left the party together. Now for sure his version to his friends back at the frat house will be nothing short of a drunken fantasy. Frat boys are famous for their wild behavior, ridiculous schemes and preposterous stories of carnal conquest. You, on the other hand, will delight in telling your own fanciful version to your friends upon returning - and really, not all that late.
My message is: the truth on campus is in the textbooks, not in the tall stories of how much fun was "witnessed." People will attempt to convince you that everybody gets wasted drunk every weekend and if you don't you're missing all the fun. Really? Wasted drunk? Everybody? Okay what else are they wanting you to believe - oh ya - the sex. "Casual sex on campus is like jungle sex." You see someone at a party (a lot of alcohol sharpens the vision) you'd like to hook up with, then go ahead - everyone does it, so goes the popular myth. Hooking up, to a lot of coeds, means becoming physically intimate - but not necessarily - going all the way, so don't assume or believe that it's a jungle out there unless you let it or - unless you're at a frat house, of course. Some schools are a lot more liberal than others and they usually have a party school legend that accompanies any mention of their campus.
My next message is don't feel pressured to get wasted drunk when a little buzz achieves a sufficient relaxation of your nerves to wash away the shyness, enabling you to casually interact with anyone at a party. You want to lower the stress of self consciousness to enjoy the fun and cheer. Slammin shots and doin' keg stands will probably reveal your less attractive self - and it may just eliminate the one guy who was somebody you would have wanted to impress - oops! So go for the buzz and an aspirin before hitting the bed and know that not only will the headache in the morning be slight to nothing; but also that you didn't say or do something that makes you the butt of jokes for the next week or sends you to the ER with a chipped tooth and stitches on the upper lip...hmmm, nice huh? And blow your chances with a secret admirer.
So Welcome back to campus, wherever in the country you are. I'm in a very big university town where the Welcome Week parties have already begun: the frat house lawns are strewn with plastic cups, the roads filled with Uhaul trucks and the sidewalks and student bookstores filled with thousands of returning coeds. I'll have more observations on how to get your campus bliss on next week.
Obviously I am directing my opening remarks to those feeling most unbalanced and dizzy: the newbies and the freshman. You are coming fresh from high school, transferring from another college or just out of the military; or you decided to leave the security of your room to your little sister to gain some privacy and avoid the morning parental interrogations as to where you were last night; and explanations as to where you are spending the entire weekend away. Okay, I get it. Been there, done that.
Anxiety is baggage you really want to minimize as you seek to navigate the academic requirements with a clear head and a steady pulse. But, guess what - as already stated - campus life has its own stressors. Welcome to Peer Pressure 102 with pop quizzes hourly. You're in the big league now: college. "You just did a two and half gainer from the low diving board into the deep end of the pool: from the fire into the frying pan." one prof used to tell us while handing back papers.
The reason I begin with social anxiety is because it needn't be as big a deal as your brain will attempt to make it. Academic anxiety yes - social, not so much.Your default setting is to err on the side of caution. I get that. I will attempt to persuade you that a lot of what you hear is not exactly so. A lot of what is said is an exaggeration of the facts and too often just made up. Let's take the example of what happened last night between you and "what's his name" after you guys left the party together. Now for sure his version to his friends back at the frat house will be nothing short of a drunken fantasy. Frat boys are famous for their wild behavior, ridiculous schemes and preposterous stories of carnal conquest. You, on the other hand, will delight in telling your own fanciful version to your friends upon returning - and really, not all that late.
My message is: the truth on campus is in the textbooks, not in the tall stories of how much fun was "witnessed." People will attempt to convince you that everybody gets wasted drunk every weekend and if you don't you're missing all the fun. Really? Wasted drunk? Everybody? Okay what else are they wanting you to believe - oh ya - the sex. "Casual sex on campus is like jungle sex." You see someone at a party (a lot of alcohol sharpens the vision) you'd like to hook up with, then go ahead - everyone does it, so goes the popular myth. Hooking up, to a lot of coeds, means becoming physically intimate - but not necessarily - going all the way, so don't assume or believe that it's a jungle out there unless you let it or - unless you're at a frat house, of course. Some schools are a lot more liberal than others and they usually have a party school legend that accompanies any mention of their campus.
My next message is don't feel pressured to get wasted drunk when a little buzz achieves a sufficient relaxation of your nerves to wash away the shyness, enabling you to casually interact with anyone at a party. You want to lower the stress of self consciousness to enjoy the fun and cheer. Slammin shots and doin' keg stands will probably reveal your less attractive self - and it may just eliminate the one guy who was somebody you would have wanted to impress - oops! So go for the buzz and an aspirin before hitting the bed and know that not only will the headache in the morning be slight to nothing; but also that you didn't say or do something that makes you the butt of jokes for the next week or sends you to the ER with a chipped tooth and stitches on the upper lip...hmmm, nice huh? And blow your chances with a secret admirer.
So Welcome back to campus, wherever in the country you are. I'm in a very big university town where the Welcome Week parties have already begun: the frat house lawns are strewn with plastic cups, the roads filled with Uhaul trucks and the sidewalks and student bookstores filled with thousands of returning coeds. I'll have more observations on how to get your campus bliss on next week.